OK, so maybe I am not the best person to talk about this subject. I have intentionally stayed out of a relationship for the past couple of years because of my up coming journey. I do not want another reason to stay here. My marriage ended not because I did not try, but because he did not.
People always say “it’s a 50/50 thing”. No it is not. I might give 10% in one area while you give the other 90%. And in another, it might be 60/40. We all have our strong points, and we tend to be drawn towards someone who makes up the rest.
I have an Aunt and Uncle that have been married for 53 years this coming June. That is quite an achievement these days. My Uncle Tom might be the captain but, My Aunt Marlene steers the boat. I do not remember them ever arguing either. I asked them one time if they ever considered getting a divorce. I immediately said, “never mind, I do not want to know.” Some things are better left unknown.
My biggest problem with relationships is letting someone in my world. I am an extremely guarded person. It is not that I do not trust people, I just like being private. This blog thing is making me not so private anymore. I have been giving the world more insight as to whom I am than I have ever said before.
I have had three long-term relationships since my divorce in 1995. The first lasted six and a half years. That was a complete waste of my time. The second lasted for four years, and we almost got married. He is my best guy friend to this day. The third lasted for two years, and I’m still wondering why I stayed in that one as long as I did.
I am an overly independent woman and most (southern) men do not like that. I am not sure if that is just my nature or it developed over time because of circumstance. After my divorce, I vowed I would never be reliant on a man again, and for the most part, I have kept true to that. When I think about my future and getting older I have always seen just me and my boys and I’m not sure why. Is that the way I want it to be so I can keep my independence?
Who knows, maybe one day I will meet Mr. Wonderful and not Mr. Right for right now. I certainly am not looking, and he would have to understand what I am about to do.
This is my journey…