Ok, so you know from previous posts that I was married for thirteen years, and I have been single for sixteen years now. Yes, I almost got married in 2005 but I didn’t. I believe some people are meant to be single, and I am one of them.
If I were married would I be able to go on this incredible journey? Not a chance. I don’t know of a single man that would allow their spouse to take off for 5 plus years. I am, and I can’t wait! Being single means I can do what I want, when I want. I don’t have to ask or let someone know what I am doing.
Do you remember the movie “Family Man”? Do you remember the scene when he, Nicholas Cage talked about doing the same thing every day? I believe it was the part when he wanted the expensive suit. It is getting into the boring rut that keeps going through my mind. When you get married it is all exciting and new and then you start getting use to a routine and things get taken for granted and the boredom sets in. I don’t want to be bored!
I have friends that can’t be alone. They HAVE to have a man/woman in their life at all times. This is something that I do not understand, and I believe if they spent some time alone they would be able to figure out who they truly are and not try to be someone that they are not. I know of women who have changed who they are for the person they are currently with.
The plus side to being married is the knowing that someone will always be there for you. That is a comforting thought but, will they? I know of a few couples that have been married for 20 plus years and one day, it is over. The person that you committed your life to has changed, and in a drastic way. And it is usually because of someone else. You spend years building a life with someone and one day it is all gone. That is not a risk I honestly want to take again.
I hope I don’t sound like I am against marriage because I am not. I loved being married, and I was a devoted wife. There are a few couples that I know that have strong marriages and I enjoy spending time with them. One is my Aunt Marlene and Uncle Tom. They have been married for 54 years now and still going strong. Another couple is Darlene and Bruce. Darlene works with me and has been married for 33 years. Now, I’m not saying that they have perfect marriages, but damn good ones. I love to hear Darlene talk about Bruce during the day. He was her first love, and she wants nothing more. That is a rare find these days, and I am happy for them.
I don’t mind being the 3rd, 5th or 7th wheel. My friends know that that is just me! Even when I was in a relationship and the person I was with didn’t want to do whatever was planned, I still went. I would not stay home because he didn’t want to do something. And I didn’t try to make him or talk him into going with me. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it. I would rather you not be there than for you to go and complain the whole night or just make me miserable because you don’t want to be there. Simple as that.
The advantages to being single are:
1. I can do what I want, when I want.
2. I don’t have to shave if I don’t want to.
3. I don’t have to cook if I don’t want to.
4. There will always be a frosty beverage in the fridge when I get home.
5. I can sleep on whatever side of the bed I want to!
6. I don’t have to watch Sports Center
7. I can cook the way I like to.
8. And last but not least, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!
When this journey is over I might consider settling down, but right now, I will just enjoy the ride…
This is my journey…
I feel the exact same way. I have been married “many” times, more than I want to say. AND, obsviously marriage was not in the cards for me. No matter how much I tried to be, to please, or whatever, it never worked out. So, evidently, I was not meant to be married. SO, I have been single for about 25 years now, and I love it. Exactly as you say,,I can do what I want, when I want and if I don’t want to cook, I don’t, I sleep in the middle of the bed, and I shave when I want too… lol….and I quiet enjoy my time alone. I do miss having a relationship, but I do not want to be married again. I’m quiet content with just “me”. Enjoy your journey, I am looking forward to it………………..the ride.
Donna, it is good to know I am not the only one! More people should be like us! I have tried to figure out the part of a relationship I miss and the only thing I can think of is someone to make me laugh. Someone who makes me laugh is very important to me. The rest of it, hog wash! The ride will be fun! 🙂
The advantages to being Happily Married are:
1. I can do what I want, when I want. – and ask someone to do it with me
2. I don’t have to shave if I don’t want to. -Ditto
3. I don’t have to cook if I don’t want to. -Ditto -or ask someone to do it with me
4. There will always be a frosty beverage in the fridge when I get home. – Always!
5. I can sleep on whatever side of the bed I want to! – Im down with switching sides
6. I don’t have to watch Sorts Center – Neither do I, but 6 hours straight of HGTV on Sat and Sun ain’t so fun either
7. I can cook the way I like to. -And learn how to cook other stuff the spouse knows how to AKA Chicken Tortilla Soup!
8. And last but not least, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! – and ask someone to do it with me
Well said Britt! And I agree with you totally. Like I said, I enjoyed being married but, I was married to the wrong man. I was basically single with his paycheck and that was about it. Maybe one day the right one will find me. I can say the right one found you! UHHHHH, Where is my invite on the boat action???!!!
Well said , I hope I get to see you before you leave and when you get back. You intrigue me always have always will. You have a special kind of Courage.
How old were you when you got married?
Hey Coreen, I was 19…. All of that info is under “my journey”. My opinion, dont get married before 30!
A SHORT LOVE STORY, IT’S WORTH SHARING WITH ALL MARRIED PEOPLE!!
A man and a woman who had never met before,
And who were both married to other people,
Found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room
On a Trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,
They were both very tired and fell asleep quickly,
He in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,
‘Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you,
But would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?
I’m awfully cold.’
‘I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for tonight,
let’s pretend that we’re married..’
‘Wow! That’s a great idea!’ he exclaimed.
‘Good,’ she replied. ‘So get your own friging blanket’.