Dumb things I have done. Part 2

Several years ago while flossing my teeth, the dental floss got stuck between two of my back teeth. I tried all day to get it out with no luck. The next morning, after sleeping all night with string stuck in my mouth, I called my dentist and he said to come on in. They finally called my name to come on back, I sat in the chair and they tilted the chair back. Dr. Elijah came in and asked, “How did you get floss stuck between your teeth?” I said, “I don’t know, it’s just stuck.” Dr. Elijah looked at it for a second then simply slid it out from between my teeth. I kept trying to pull up on it, the same way it went in. I’m surprised he didn’t say, “HERES YOUR SIGN”! I felt pretty dumb that day…

When I was 35 years old I had braces put on, all because my best friend’s little brother told me I had “big fangs” during a game of Taboo. The day I had the braces put on I also had a blind date. I was told to put the wax on the braces to help protect the inside of my mouth from the new mouth jewelry but, I didn’t want to show up on the date with that wax all over my teeth so I didn’t put it on. After having great conversation for several hours I went home. The next morning my lips were so swollen from rubbing on the braces and the inside of my lips looked like ground hamburger. I couldn’t eat for a week after that. Pretty dumb I would say.

Another braces incident involved the rubber bands. I had the clear braces on top, so the rubber bands were clear also. The first time I drank coffee with the new hardware the rubber bands turned brown. So, what do you do when you want to “bleach” something out? YUP, I dipped a Q-tip in bleach and rubbed it on the rubber bands. It didn’t work. I called the orthodontists office and I kinda got yelled at, I was told to come in immediately. They changed out the rubber bands and told me to drink coffee, soda, and tea through a straw to prevent my braces from turning brown again. I still drink my coffee through a straw to this day.

When I was 14 or 15, and living inMorbach,Germany, I didn’t want to go to school one day. I probably had test that I didn’t study for, (Imagine that!) so I told my mom that I was sick. I stomach hurt, my head hurt, you know the routine. Before she came in I put my face REAL close to the lamp by my bed to get my forehead super hot. It worked! She got the thermometer and stuck it under my tongue and left the room. I quickly put the thermometer on the 100 watt light bulb and ZOOM! The mercury shot all the way to the top and I couldn’t shake it back down fast enough. BUSTED! I had to go to school…

When I was 6 years old and with my Aunt and Uncle, I loved to take baths. My Aunt would fill the bathtub up with water and bubbles and I would play, play, play! Another thing I liked to do was play “gymnast” along the edge of the tub. I would stand on the edge and spin, twirl and jump back and forth while the tub was being filled. My Uncle, who is a big man, told me repeatedly not to do that. I would get hurt. Once again I defied his commands and I was the little gymnast again. The only thing I remember after that was being grabbed by my ankles, the bathroom turning upside down, and the horrible sting as his very large hand made contact with my little tiny hiney! After my bath was finished, which was no longer a joyous time for me, My Aunt carried me into his study to show him his hand print on my backside. I never walked on the edge of the tub again.